Final Countdown

This process was anything but easy. It consisted of endless checklists, meetings with advisors, phone calls with every department you can imagine. It was not easy, but it was at least expected. But one thing I didn't expect was how hard the last few days would be before the departure. I've gone through many stages of excitement and depression. I've sat in my room and packed and unpacked my bags 3-4 times now, and I still have four days left before I leave. Just as often as that happens, I sit on my bed in tears because I'm scared. I've never done something like this before. I've never done this type of goodbye with friends or family. I've never experienced this type of fear. I like to think of myself as someone who is willing to take on the world. But how can that be when I spend so much time worrying about what could happen while I'm abroad? What if I hurt my knees again? What if I discover I hate what I'm studying? What if I lose my best friends while I'm gone? These thoughts flash through my mind at least once a day. I sit here in fear of the unknown. I'm scared of leaving in four days. I'm scared of what this trip is going to tell me about myself. But this fear is propelling me into an unknown land, and it's telling me to be brave, have fun, and let the future take care of itself. Because there's nothing I can do about it, and I just have to let nearly a years worth of hard work finally pay off. It's the final countdown to Costa Rica.